Forging a Valentine’s Day for All
“Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect, touch, and greet each other.” —Rainer Maria Rilke
Tomorrow, Friday, February 12, two days before Valentine’s Day, Sasha Cagen, patron saint of those of us who love solitude as much as we love intimacy, strictly on our terms, is hosting a grand party for all. Sasha calls the bash Pre-Quirkyalone Day Party, and all are invited.
You can find out more about quirky Sasha Cagen at her web site. Sasha first coined the term “quirkyalone” a while ago. She authored the Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics and founded the quirkyalone movement.
Sasha says “I have been writing, talking, thinking, coaching, and teaching about living an inspired, empowered quirkyalone, quirkytogether, a quirkyslut life, and more since all the way back in the late 1990s when I first coined the term ‘quirkyalone’ in a 700-word essay.”
You can find the term legitimized at Factual Facts: Quirkyalone: someone who is single and does not feel the need to date for the sake of it . (“Table for one, please!”) Sasha has a short survey anyone can take to detect their level of quirkyaloneness. It includes questions such as Do you like walking alone at night? Has anyone ever called you quirky? Would you rather be lonely alone or lonely together? Have you ever gone to a movie alone?
I first met Sasha Cagen on the dance floor at San Francisco’s Verdi Club where we were both dancing Argentine tango. In a milieu where melancholy expressions are the norm, smiling Sasha stood out. She beamed happiness. We connected and became friends. I read Sasha’s book and discovered I’d been a quirkyalone all my life. I shared it with my sister who, even though she’d traveled the marriage-kids track, felt the same way. The pressure is on all of us to find the perfect-romantic-fairytale-love-everlasting. But I promise you, Sasha promises you, there is something even better, genuine happiness.
In Sasha’s words, Quirkyalones prefer to be single rather than settle.
Quirkyalones can also be married or in a committed relationship (quirkytogether). You can be a man or a woman, any age.
Quirkyalone is ultimately a philosophy about finding happiness within yourself whether you’re single or in a relationship.
Sasha and I both lived for a while in Buenos Aires, the birthplace of the most sensual dance on earth. At first we were surprised to learn that Valentine’s Day is barely acknowledged. Instead, starting in 1983, the Argentines began substituting Dia del Amigo or Friends Day, for Valentine’s Day. It is celebrated on July 20. In the spirit of quirkyaloneness all forms of love are celebrated—familial, platonic, erotic, and romantic. It’s more democratic. In that inclusive spirt, Sasha declares Quirkyalone Day is NOT Anti-Valentine’s Day.
You’ll learn more at her first-ever QUIRKYALONE/TOGETHER DAY PARTY ON ZOOM, tomorrow. Sasha says the event features “DJ Rubberband Girl from Berkeley’s KALX spinning the most inspiring quirkyalone/together music to get us dancing.”
See you there.